– Some more little life lessons, by Daisy Lola. (via frankie-wolf)
1. Stop faking your fucking orgasms. Society already tells young men that they run the fucking universe - if they can’t turn your cunt into a shooting star then for god’s sake, let them know about it.
2. Once you’ve stopped faking your fucking orgasms, use this newfound honesty throughout the rest of your life - stop ordering coffee you don’t actually like; stop sitting at a desk and allowing people to treat you like shit in the hopes that a meek attitude will earn you a promotion (it won’t); stop telling people they can finish your food when you’re not actually done yet. These may seem petty, but they add up, just like every orgasm you didn’t actually get to have.
3. If you wanna dance all night, dance all fucking night. Dance all night even if you have work in the morning. The worst that will happen is you’ll drink RedBull all day and look like a zombie - pass it off as a head cold to the real zombies you work with and flick through the embarrassing photos you’re being tagged in as you pretend to take a shit for some peace and quiet. I promise, you’ll remember dancing all night in ten years, not the suspicious way your boss looked at you that morning.
4. If your ass looks big in that, that’s a good thing.
5. You will never be as young as you are this second. Embrace it.
6. Embrace the fact that you’re going to get older. Ask your boyfriend if he will still love you when you’re seventy and your tits are down to your knees. Look forward to this time - seventy year old women are allowed to do pretty much whatever they want, and no-one can stop them. You can carry candy in your bag and not share it with a single soul. You can stay home all day and cross-stitch expletives onto handkerchiefs for your grandchildren and slip them under the table out of sight of the people you raised. You can drink whisky at 10am. Every phase of your life is going to be amazing for different reasons. Embrace that.
7. A lot of people will pretend to love Bukowski. Don’t pretend to love Bukowski if you don’t love Bukowski. It’s overplayed and no-one will mind if you actually like Virginia Andrews instead - the people who do mind are boring.
Things don’t revolve around you and your desires.
I’d just like to point out that watching an animated, dead, turkey dance — at all, any dance at all — is hilarious. Yes, it makes a pretty funny pun when it’s “twerking”, too.
If The Internet could stop making everything about SUPER SERIOUS THINGS THAT ARE SERIOUS for one fucking second, that would be great.
So if someone could make a Very Big List of Very Serious Things That We Are Not Allowed To Make Jokes About Because We Must Take Those Things Very Seriously All The Time, that would be very helpful.*
*Please do not actually do this. It’s exhausting enough already.
Anonymous asked: Instead of calling me an idiot, why don't you explain why I'm wrong? Marvel's target audience is young adult males.
i find it hilarious that to me you have no identity
but to you you do
so i hurt your feelings
isn’t that funny
i think thats funny
especially because i was making a joke but anyway
it’s like the naming the pencil breaking the pencil analogy. oh, humans.
Maybe you’re confusing Marvel with DC, because their heads have yet to come out and make themselves look like assholes by saying “only dudes are reading our shit.”
But estimates are that comic book readership is 40% female.
We all know that there’s massive problems with sexism in Marvel, just like in most comic books, just like in all the world. But with the popularity of the Avengers series of films that are currently out - now is the perfect time for them to do a test of something new - a female led super hero (let’s ignore elektra svp).
The books are getting better and better, imo. Slowly less and less bull shit. And the book’s target demographics are not “boys” it’s EVERYONE THEY CAN CONVINCE TO READ THEIR BOOKS because you know, that’s how you make money.
Also assuming that Marvel is “for guys” is shitty and marginalizes all of the not-guys who love Marvel stories. Additionally, when all of those not-guys say “hey! we’re here! we have requests and suggestions,” its extra shitty to try to shut them up by saying “this isn’t for you.”
And anyway, even if Jesus H Christ came down from his holy crib and decreed “marvel is for dudes,” like hey, don’t you guys have enough.
anyway i feel a little bit bad for being mean but only a little bit, because like i said, naming the pencil.
Because Phoenix, a fucking female, is not the most powerful character in all of marvel? Shut the fuck up with your bullshit.
Or you could pull your head out of your ass and talk to a mechanic like anyoother sane person.
My mom once said to me, “if you ever have car troubles but don’t know what the problem is, don’t take it in to a mechanic because they will try to sell you things you don’t need. Instead park yourself on the side of the highway, pop your hood, and look confused. Some mechanic will pull over to help and he’ll tell you what the problem is for free.” And that’s the day I realized that I could make the patriarchy work for me.
The “I need feminism..” hall of fame of mental gymnastics, delusion and downright stupidity.
Watch, laugh and wonder what the hell is going on in the minds of these people.
Someone take my photoshop away
No one should take your photoshop away I fuckin died when I read this.
oh god bobby in sunglasses
cas’s baNDANA LOOKS SO NATURAL OMG
[at my own wedding] can I stay in the car
I bet if we dusted her heart for fingerprints, we’d only find yours.– Rudy Francisco (via seulray)